Cheers to 2006!

Im ushering in the new year of 2007 on a pretty good note.... im sort of past that state of mind i had a couple of days ago, my baby's doing great, friends are great, charlottes got a much needed facelift and i got an increment in my salary by about RM100.... which is pretty good.... and also i got to see my mum and mikey over the webcam just a minute ago.....


Oh yea... Saddam Hussein got hanged.... its probably gonna be a big memory of 2006 for the Americans.... but its meaningless to me nonetheless...hehehe...


We've got some plans tonight...nothing too elaborate with the usual suspects and maybe my cousin..who ive been such much more of since he managed to start this new life of his.... Bearing in mind its the year end, i think its good that he goes through this change and starts 2007 on a positive note.... good to see him doing well...



Speaking of positive notes, here's a couple of pics of charlotte with her new facelift....





New hood scoop and front lip...






Better view of the Lip...








From an angle...raised the hood by about 1cm...
Ill be getting a set of Mugen replica side skirts by next week...it'll complete the whole look...

Really happy with the results although i could do with a paint job...hahaha...its never enough now is it?

My baby got her Neo a set of visors...looks pretty smart too....

Anyway... reflecting on the year 2006 is gonna be pretty hard... coz it happened so fast... i spent the last new years with shane and my baby in my car..... seemed like yesterday but inf act it was almost exactly 12 months ago! crazy..... Hopefully this year we wont be stuck in my car....worse still coz i dont have my air conditioning.....

2006...a year of...

1.my first job..

2.turning 20..

3.My 3 year anniversary with my baby...

4.Ecstacy

5.Charlotte got her turbo... i had that resolution in 2005 for 2006 and it happened! haha..

6.My first christmas away from my mum..

7.Saddam Hussein got executed...

8.Wynton left KL....

9.My baby got her first car!

10.Countless family issues...

SO cheers 2006.... Not the best year.... but certainly one of the more influential years of my life....

My resolution for 2007? Save money! hahahaha.... gonna be tough

Dougie signing out

Father of mine

I feel a bad energy.... im not comfortable and neither is everyone else... the atmosphere is haunting yet i do it for the sake of him.... I find myself alone with this person who i know, but i dont know..... Im convinced.... im a victim of love and trust.... why did i not know better? because i could not have seen it coming..... and then it happens...

He leaves.... as i felt it taking over.... my sense of sound started to blur, my head began pounding.... I was begging for it to stop.... i start shivering, my lips get cold, and i lose the feeling in my fingertips.... I look in the mirror but i dont see myself.... The view in front of me seems to be spiraling and im beginning to lose control of what i say.... I lose all sense of focus... im unable to focus on something for more than 2 minutes.... i stutter.... my lips get extremely dry and my tongue feels numb...

The paranoia creeps in... i sense fear, anger and hatred around me... i see it in the eyes of those i love but i cant do anything about it... I want to reach out but i cant..... They shed tears but i cant wipe them away.... I know wht i want to do but i cant..... They are more important than i am.... others first...myself second

Love is what caused this pain, but love is also wht i held on to....
the irony of it all...

Then the mind becomes a broken record....never stops thinking. Whos to blame? Where is my car? Whos to blame? Wheres my stuff? Whos to blame? Hows my baby? Whos to blame? Hows sandra and matt? I want to die... Whos to blame? How could he? Whos to blame? But i said yes? Whos to blame?

And then its a sense of safety... regret... guilt... fear... betrayal

I regain my senses... and wonder....

Is he who i think he is?

He is my father.... and after everything...i still do love him....

..... I've never felt so much fear in my life....

Furthermore.... its overshadowed the joy i had during christmas with my family....which, i have to say was fantastic and true to tradition.... never been a christmas where i dont reflect on what a great family i have... eventhough this is the first time ive spent christmas with my mum a couple of thousands of miles away from the christmas tree i see every year....

Dougie signing out

Nobody said it was easy..

I think ive figured out when to set priorities for different things... and well, above all.... Love normally comes first... be it love for oneself, or love for another....

Things have pretty much passed the bumpy road for me.... things are back to normal now and im in that mood i so love to be in.... and i should be in considering that its christmas tomorrow.

Christmas... sigh.... its not the same as it used to be..... reason being im no kid any longer, and worse still is the fact that my mum's not around for christmas.... Its gonna be the first time ive spent a christmas without her.... sigh... nobody said it was easy right?
Im just glad that my baby will be sitting next to me as we unwrap presents this christmas... she'll be there to tell me how much she enjoys the food that my family prepared..... she'll be there to hug me and wish me merry christmas....

Well...im gonna get back to my blogging tradition of writing about good ol charlotte..... I managed to get her left front window motor fixed and now its working like a charm... and i also lifted her hood by about 1cm for engine bay cooling purposes.... I already ordered a fiber bonnet scoop as well... which i am really looking forward to fitting next tuesday....
Slowly but surely..shes coming together.... for now...

I had dinner at Marche's last night... which so happens to be among my top 5 favourite restaurants..... had a RM40 dinner... which was real satisfying.... and i dropped by my car club gathering for a bout 5 minutes... had things to do after that..... good to see that the car gatherings are getting a bit more "reputable" in a way.... i got back home, went to souled out for becky's birthday get together and then proceeded to a mini drinking session in the Koh residence...hahaha... real busy night.... but enjoyeable none the less.... gonna need more of that in time to come...

Today is christmas eve... tonight there'll be a party with my family.... and in a couple of days time its gonna be 2007..... need i say more? time is really flying...

So i guess ill end here on a very positive note by saying MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

UNITED 3 - 0 ASTON VILLA

nuff said...

Dougie signing out

counting stars wishing i was ok...

I was so close to ending my 3 year 7 month relationship.... due to so many factors.... all of which was triggered of by an argument over some car forum issues.... fucked up isnt it? and fucked up is exactly how i feel now....

Im seriously at a lost as to which direction im heading now....

I literally told my baby...that it was over...because i felt it should've been over.... i felt it was the final conflict... the last time i'd get hurt or i'd hurt her.... recently, ive been a real success as a boyfriend... a success in terms of succeeding to fail... I've never failed to do something wrong, failed live up to an expectation, failed to read a situation... so therefore i do in fact feel i have succeeded in failing...

Is she hard to please? by all means the answer is yes.... but thats what a relationship is all about, working things out..... I'm not saying im an angel, but im no devil either....

I sometimes wonder how much more can i handle.... i pride myself with having patience, tolerance, and understanding... but i now see that i have none of them.... none to the extent of beign a pride

Oh how diverse the effects of love can be on a man....

We were on the phone for a good hour... me explaining and she listening... i lost it and got myself to let it all go.... waste the 3 years of love.... but then i realized, how much i would be missing.... the part of my life that i was about to let go... and i couldnt..... not after she had softened up to me.... talked to me in that voice that struck my momentarily stone heart... i grew weak.... vulnerable...susceptible...

Her choice of words soothed that pain i was feeling deep down....she began to worry me a little... after which, i almost decided to kill myself...but of course i didnt...

it wasnt worth it... damn right it wasnt worth it.... she didnt want it to end...and i just couldnt bring myself to have it end either....

I dont think im going to relive that hour.... or re-tell the words she said nor the words i said... it would hurt too much.... all i can keep in mind now is that its ok.... I still have her to call my baby...

Even if the world is against her...she is the one i love....always have...always will... as long as she loves me.... Maybe that defines me as a good boyfriend...the fact that i know im trying....no matter if she feels that im inferior, as long as i know for a fact that i've in fact been giving my all... thats what matters...

Am i OK u ask? NO...im not....im lost....lost as ever...

i swear to god, tears ran down my cheeks with no end as i played the song counting stars by sugar cult in my head today.... the tune of the song itself just adds coal to the emotional fire i was feeling....if only i had the cd.... seriously worthy for an episode of one tree hill.... call me emo if u wish, but everyone needs a bit of drama...even if it brings u to tears.... its human nature... we feed of drama... its wht makes life interesting...

Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should have said to you
Hey, I can't make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should have said to you
Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again
Hey, I'll take this day by day by day
Under the covers I'm okay I guess
Life's too short and i feel small

AM i OK? No..im still not ok...although i am trying to be...

Im gonna be honest...im wearing a facade now.... covering all these thoughts that i have running through my head.... thoughts i never wanted to have....thoughts i'd been afraid of having.... thoughts which i shouldnt be having....

I sometimes envy those with the freedom of being single.... but at the same time, cherish having someone to love..someone to hold.... someone that having freedom of being single wont let u have....

I cant believe im actually letting this all out.... whats more unbelievable is that im actually feeling better...
sigh..i've lost weight because of all this thinking...not good....as if i wasnt thin enough...

Am i OK? come to think of it.... i think i am... coz i have my baby back..im thinking a little clearer.... and i dont feel like killing myself anymore.... im just very extremely tired now

Im proud of who i am...and im proud of who u are...i hope ur proud of me too....

Im sorry for not being able to be the person you want me to be..... sorry for not being able to understand.... sorry for failing.... sorry for everything...

Dougie signing out...

Mundane

Life's starting to become a bore once again.... i'd have to say its coz of work being mundane, unbelievably routine, boring and the fact that i have to do something work related on a fucking saturday..... Only thing i can say is SHIT..... Unfortunately thats the rules as far as working for someone is concerned.....

I may sound a bit whimpy whiney or whatever, but the fact is i dont think im accustomed to working during "personal time" as my baby puts it.... i dont even plan to get accustomed to it anyhow..... Even staying back for a half an hour is a biggie to me.... and about saturday, well, im gonna have to be at this venue (of which im no sure where) from 9am to 5pm.... i mean... Fuck...its my whole bloodie half of the weekend....

On the brighter side though, im gonna be having a nice long break during the christmas week...which im really really really looking forward to.... I just hit one of the many milestones in life in the form of having been confirmed by my company as a staff.... officially my first confirmation for a job...hahaha.... yea...significant isnt it....

Bottom line is...i really feel i need a change of scene...although what it is i want to get into isnt apparent yet, im sure it'll come by someday....

Im just so glad i have my baby to brighten my day up after work.... :)

Well.... i'm beginning to realise how much nicer it is with my buddy wynton around.... Him being the most free among all of us and the most willing to arrange stuff, we more often or not had something to do on and off..... Unfortunately im not the sort who is willing to organize stuff.... it scares me coz i actually feel lazy to get out to yam cha with the usual suspects....sigh..... and i do in fact feel left out now and then.... AAnnyway.....

its bloodie 12:19 now.... and im feeling sleepy but i just refuse to sleep.... sigh....

I just updated this awesome video into my friendster profile of a McDonell Douglas AH-64 gunship (helicopter) vs Lotus Elise..... awesome awesome video..... its from an edition of top gear.... basically proving just how agile the Elise is....

Anyway.... dont know why ive been feeling one kind recently.... the brain is working just a little too much i guess.... thinking about the future, whats gonna happen, whts happening now, how much money do i have, what i need to fix in charlotte, my baby, work, work, having to work on saturday, left out, friends....damn....

Christmas is coming up.... so is the end of the year... time is just going by waaay too fast....although it'd be nice if weekdays went by faster... :)

It just hit me that im a miserable Loner..... if i sit alone for too long, ill begin to feel emo.... like now.... its like...i could be out, but im here.... i know for some people, alone time is good.... but not for me....

Okay...my eyes are getting a bit too heavy now.... think ill get some shut eye now....

Dougie signing out...

Shots...

Here's a couple of photo's that i took the past couple of weeks.... basically sums up quite a bit of what ive been up to lately...

The band....


My point of view..not my drumsticks



Falique and Duan...my guitarist and bassist


In the house... 2nd guitarist Jo on the sofa...




At the car wash



15 year old Pink car for me.... nice new orange Neo for her...






Sublime mini meetup @ Ulu Klang


Bad lighting


Roddies Deto


Kiam's arse



DetomaWHO?



Tezt's Gtti



24 hour McDonalds.... hehehehe



The ultimate Gtti...





The last gathering at wyntons place...


Wynton, charmane and my baby


The dumbshits



Baby hard at work



Au'revoir wynton.... see in in a couple of months



Compliments to the chef.... or chef's...

Dougie signing out...

10.4 seconds

10.4 seconds....thats how long it took charlotte to reach the century mark on my speedometer from stand still.... 10.4 seconds, is how dissapointed i am on a scale of 1 to 10... Way off the expected 6.9 seconds.... by 4.1 seconds to be exact..... did a couple of runs today and well, ive got some reason to perceive as consolation because number 1: im running without an exhaust pipe..thus, loss of a lot of torque....number 2: im using what could probably be the worse tyres in the world...2nd hand, regrooved..minimal grip, maximum skidmarks.... number 3: me being not so used to peaking the car out yet.. which i of course will work on.... to sum it all up, the exhaust pipe and a new set of tyres better shave off at least 2 seconds from my time of 10.4 seconds..... that number.... TEN POINT FOUR has been ringing in my head since this afternoon with my buddy amir and gavan....


That dissapointed merely rubbed salt into my wound of having a bad start to the week.... last night, apart from Casino Royale being enjoyeable....i had a argument with my baby, i went to a futsal game which never was, and i lost my Adidas futsal shoes which i really really like.... worse still, i had to wake up extra early to get to work by 8:30, on the bright side, i can leave at 5:30....


And that brings me here, 6:22 now on a monday evening.... ive honestly never ever found myself here at this time since i started working....


My baby mentioned that KFC has a new Zinger burger a.k.a Zinger maxx.... which comes with cheese....sounds like a dream come true for me.... Full thanks to Colonel Sanders!!



Speaking of colonel sanders....i mentioned i caught james bond:casino royale last night.... okaaay, so colonel sanders and james bond have nothing in common apart from having a lot of chicks.... im just so funny.... AAnyway, yea, so Casino Royale was in fact a really kick ass addition to the legendary Double-o-seven saga.... really gives james bond a whole new image.... although his Aston Martin DB9R should have lasted longer....fucking gorgeous piece of art.... which im sure would do much better than 10.4 seconds to reach 100kmh.... just take 10.4 and minus about 6.... yea... but heck, an evo or a scooby which costs a quarter of its price tag is gonna give the DB9R a big run for its money... it would probably just leave it in its evo/scooby dust..... but looks wise? no match...



im sad to say this but i think in my baby's list of her worlds most desireable men, im probably at number 146 ....hahaha... Daniel Craig being added to her top 10.... i was 145 previously....who else but Cristiano Ronaldo at to spot :) love u baby....



I had a jam session on sunday....really got to work out practicing my double pedalling and i think ive brought it up a notch....really happy about....takes the pain of thinking about a 10.4 second car.... SHit...

btw..congrats gavan u shithead on ur decision to convert ur engine as well... All the best.... im sure ull get past 10.4 seconds.....


Dougie signing out

frustrations ala automobile...

Charlotte...oohhh...charlotte....



PROBLEMS.


1.Front left passenger power window motor is spoilt.... estimated cost... RM250...


2. No exhaust pipe = lost power + added cabin heat... cost to resolve...RM500

3. Air cond is not working due to a leaking compressor.... cost to repair.....RM400 - RM500

NEEDS


1.Oil Change.... RM89


2.Denso Iridium spark plugs....RM180


Altogether.... est RM1300 to 1400.....
Priority would be the windows...coz its cheaper than the air cond...

AAANnnyway.....


The gathering come burger feast come last gathering at wyntons house will be on later in the evening.... getting hungry just thinking about it, also coz i havent had lunch yet....


Sundays gonna be good too... supposed to play for this old friend of mine who may be able to hook us up with some not-so-underground gigs..... places like laundry, hartamas etc..... so yea....hopefully that bears some fruit....


A bit of car news for you petrol heads...

Audi TT

Audi is going to extremes with its TT range in the coming years. We can fully expect a TT RS in the next 18 months, punching out around 320bhp from a tuned version of the existing V6 engine. The TT RS will use the dual-shift gearbox (DSG) and have four-wheel drive as standard. Audi engineers won't say much more on the topic, but they have given the nod that the RS will crack 0-62mph in under five seconds. The RS will use the same bodyshell as the new TT, but with further lightening of materials to reduce weight and improve performance. At the other end of the scale, the same Audi engineers say a diesel-powered TT is more than likely in the next two years. The engine will be from the new Bluetec range jointly developed with Mercedes and is set to have 'at least 170bhp, if not more'. It's also likely to come with a DSG gearbox to make the most of mid-range torque that should be in the region of 280lb ft. Closer to the here and now, we can look forward to Audi taking the wraps off the A5 coupe at the Geneva motor show in March.



Heck.. the most modest of roadsters nowadays pack about 200hp of punch.... really makes me think about how long more ill be venturing into this world of making a 15 year old car new.... might as well save up adn get something with just as much power, and hopefulyl a convertible roof...hahaha....


Dougie signing out....

Not so good.....

First off for the "not so good" was a fallout between me, my baby and the dudes at the car club.... sigh..... arguments, offensive remarks, and basically the departure of me....one of the 2 founders.....
The reason? Well, one individual being straightforward, another individual getting offended, another individual tossing wood into the fire, and a whole lot of individuals voicing oppinions....
Lessons learnt? Think before saying something....thats about it.... and also, contrary to what i normally practice in handling situations (by shutting up and not giving a shit....nothing to prove anyway) sometimes taking situations by the scruff of the neck does in fact have its advantages.... coz then people will know exactly what you want to say.....
So yea...
Everythings alright now thankfully.... never nice to host a car forum with members throwing punches at each other.....

2nd to the not so good.... The underground gig we had.... well, it was bad in a way but proved to be not so bad in the end..... My friends were supposed to watch me, but due to the place we were playing and the people there, my friends left...and it was only appropriate that i get my baby to follow them... we were supposed to catch a movie at midvalley that night...which we did in the end.....
Anyway...i played the gig, feeling a little depressed...but all in all, we did well...crowd enjoyed it and so did i to a certain extent.....
Next up? Record our demo CD, register our materials with MACP and hand it to Traxx fm who wanted to play our songs on air....
If it works out....Great..... Thing is, working does take its toll on free time and contributes to fatigue...both of which will make it difficult to commit to other things..... in this case, music...

3rd not so good.... Charlotte.....
1. making high pitched screeching noises during start up...seems to be coming from the pulleys or alternator..... ive heard other cars and vans making this same exact noise before.... but i never knew wht it was....guess ill find out soon..... hopefully its nothing too crazy...
2. Front Left passenger window control doesnt seem to be working....faulty wiring probably..... shouldnt cost too much....or rather, it shouldnt cost at all....
3. Windscreen seems to be leaking a little bit more than last time.....
4. Wanna get my exhaust setup done soon..... lack of finances doesnt permit it....
5. Still cant repair the air conditioning....
on the brighter side, she's running pretty alright now, i gave her little DIY sprays on the body and rims.... looks a bit different now.... although i did do a very very very bad job..it looks nice from far.... the results of being lazy to tape off parts i didnt want to spray.......
Yea...get the picture....

4th not so good..... Financial...
We've got a party coming up where i've got to chip in about 35 bucks..... add that to my RM150 speeding ticket, clearing of debts, christmas presents... and im left with a not so easy 2nd half of the month.....

That pretty much sums up all thats been happening during the interval between my previous post and this one.... Sad but true...

On a more positive note, we've got a gathering this weekend at wyntons place...of which he's going to be vacating in a while..... So yea, it sort of doubles up as a "last time at his house gathering" type of thing....

Its only 11:35pm and my eyes are giving up on me... so is the result of accumulated nights of little sleep + work..... Ive actually lost almost 5 kg's since i started work.... Im not too happy with it coz i know i lack a little kg's and body mass, so shedding another 5 of that....yea.... not too happy....
Wynton and Kev just gave me a buzz to grab a drink at BRJ's, and for some reason, im just too tired to go....sigh.....thing is, i really need a drink now..... at the same time, i also need just as much sleep..... Oh yea, United are playing Benfica at in about 4 hours time..... i dont think ill be able to catch the game anyway.....

2 more days till the weekend...

Dougie signing out....

Friday night and im at home...

I feel sorry for myself just thinking about the fact that it's half past midnight on a friday and im sitting here in front of the idiot box...blogging..... on the brightside, i shouldnt feel that bad coz there are a couple of other peeps who are on msn chatting with me now as well....

Anyway.....

Couple of weeks back i met this charade owner on the road, goes by the name of pierre tan..it was one of those extremely impromptu meetings.... The kind where "oh we have the same car...think i'll say Hi.. " sort of thing..... Anyway.... he's joined the car club ever since then.... Last night i met up with him for the first time and was joined by Desmond a.k.a Deongster a.k.a Conekiller.... a friend of mine who i hadnt really officially met yet.... Well..it was a good yam cha session as we could talk...non stop...till about 2 am.....


Weird moment of the night? was when i found out that Desmonds girlfriend Wai Leng, an aussie chinese, was 20 years old and had the same birthdate as my baby..... yea yea yea i know its not that big a deal...but to meet some one of the same age and same birthdate is just...out of the ordinary....

Anyway...

Works been crazy the past couple of days.... my hours have been brought forward by 30 minutes so now i finish at 6:30 instead of the 6:00 that i was used to.... But as much as work has been crazy and tiring, i've actually been doing quite well.... Hopefully it'll pay off during my confirmation.... :)

Tomorrow im gonna be fixing my central locking on my car maybe, and the band has a gig at Giggers at night....gonna be another long day... and i gotta find some time to take my baby christmas shopping....something she loves to do :)

I'll sign off with some car news that i think are interesting introductions to the automotive world....

Lamborghini LP640 Coupe

Lamborghini has chosen the West Coast extravaganza to unveil its Murciélago LP640 Roadster - and it's going to be difficult to miss. Essentially the chop-top version of Lambo's outrageous LP640 Coupe, the Roadster is as subtle as a bull in dark glasses... and every bit as intimidating. The 640, of course, refers to the horsepower produced by the Roadster's 6.5-litre V12, while LP stands for 'longitudinale posteriore', which means the engine is mounted lengthways behind the cockpit. All of which allows the Roadster to spin up to 8,000rpm and develop a meaty 486lb ft of torque - enough to propel it to 100kmh in a mere 3.4 seconds and on to a top speed of almost 320kmh. Yes, that's a fraction slower than the coupe version. But without a roof to provide at least a little protection from the deafening growl of the V12, we're betting that the driving experience will be even more intense. Removing the roof has required Lamborghini to make some serious structural adjustments to stop the LP640 from splitting in half as it hits warp speed. A newly designed frame structure made of steel and carbon fibre keeps the Roadster rigid, with particular reinforcement given to the engine area. Lambo will even sculpt these reinforcements out of carbon fibre if you ask nicely. Lamborghini also reluctantly offers a canvas roof, but warns that it is only for temporary use at speeds of under 100mph. Better drive fast enough to beat the rainstorms, then. Devotees of the raging bull will notice a few other touches unique to the Roadster. The chop-top gets a new rear diffuser, with the exhaust system integrated within a tailpipe, as well as fresh windscreen wipers, a revised rear-light cluster and the option of new Hermera alloy wheels. Otherwise the Roadster stays true to its Coupe roots. The monster 335/30 rear tyres remain, with Pirelli Corsa tyres an option for those who want to test out the Roadster on the track.

The Lamborghini LP640 is, officially my dream car which i can only dream of.... thats why their called dream cars anyway...

Dougie signing out